“Do unshed tears wait in little lakes?” *
To rise higher and higher with each heartbreak?
The dams I have built to withstand the flood
Will ultimately shatter as my heart and break
The little lakes overflow into roaring rapids
An intense stride that no obstacle can break
Rushing unobstructedly and out of control
A futile attempt to avoid hell’s loose break
The pressure builds with forceful intent
Fighting, fighting until a cold sweat I break
Feel the tears flow through the flooded gate
Unburdened and grateful for the clean break
*Line chosen from Pablo Neruda’s ‘Book of Questions’
For dVerse’s MTB: Echoing Back, hosted by Laura.
I have attempted the Ghazal form. I apologize if I got the form wrong and appreciate any feedback.
Image created with Bing AI
I dont know if the form is correct, but your words I can relate to right now! Very well done! Xx
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Thank you, Carol Anne! I hope it is the relief you can relate to, rather than the barrage of tears.
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You got the form right! I’ve looked at many examples as I endeavor to write mine.😅 I like the journey you take us on, tears unable to be contained, yet they cleanse us in the end.
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Thank you, Melissa!😊
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Wow, that’s beautiful. More power to you. I think I’ll pass on this one as I’m unable to grasp the beauty of the form yet. I know I like the repetition and the sentiment. I like the question you pose. My answer: yes, that’s where tears come from… it’s like rain coming from the ground; not the clouds–let me say that again: rain comes from the ground. (my way of participating (repetition) with this form this time. So beautiful, JJJ. Job well done.
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Thank you, Selma! Glad you were able to participate after all. I love the idea of rain coming from the ground. 😊
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You know, right after I commenting on your post I got the “think” that perhaps I could. And I went for it.
… so you read my post? I hope you do. Thanks. Bless you.
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Bravo! You rocked the prompt.
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Thank you, M Jay! 😊
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As yes, we humans are gifted with tears for that special reason of relief and release. Nice one.
Much♡love
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Thank you, Gillena!😊
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I beautiful description of the crying and the relief that can come with the tears.
It seems like there are many variations on the ghazal form, so I think you got it right.
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Thank you, Merril! Definitely a challenge. 😊
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You’re welcome!
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This is wonderful! You took a tricky challenge and ran away with it! Cheers.
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Thank you, Helen!😊
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The echo rang out true and clear Jennifer. 🙂
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Thank you, Rob! 😘
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Tears of sorrow… a release that brings relief… love it.
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Thank you, Bjorn!😊
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An amazing poem, you managed the challenge beautifully.
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Thank you, Helen! 🙂
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The tears we constrain eventually break free and offers us emotional relief.
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